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08-28-2010 4:49 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

Oh god Amanda, I miss you so bad! Why couldn't you have stayed with us? I would give anything to take back that day. I could've changed everything and I just stood there and watched you. Now our family has fallen apart and its all on me. If I would've done what I knew to do, we would still be a family and you would still be here. Its all my fault. I should be where you are and you should be here. Everyone would be happier, me included. Im so sorry for not saving you. I REALLY BELIEVE YOU COUNTED ON ME FOR THAT AND WHEN IT MATTERED MOST, I LET YOU DOWN. I let EVERYONE down. Im so damn sorry. I love you more than anything. And miss you just the same, if not more. I hope you can forgive me. Love your baby sister.

08-10-2010 7:13 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

So its 7am and I can't sleep, imagine that. Jr's band is doing awesome. Theyre actually playin some really good shows and getting a lot of fans. You'd love it. Well maybe not the music so much but any excuse to go to big bars in Louisville at least. :) I'm loving it b/c I love the music and im doin wat I can to get em recognized. They've played 3 shows so far and hav another comin up in a few weeks. I think last show they sold like a dozen cds, if not more so thats pretty good. Hopefully they'll make it big and I can meet some famous people like Godsmack and Shinedown, that would just rock! Anyways. It had been awhile since I got on here and wrote you so I figured I would. Thats about all thats been up for awhile. Classes start back next week, woo hoo, not. But at least it'll giv me something to do. I love and miss you so much! Tell Granny the same.

07-24-2010 11:31 AM -- By: Mom,  From: Hometown, usa  

Amanda my daughter!!! Today has been hell! daddy doesn't want to be changed from wet clothes to dry and talked to me bad. your brother & sisters are acting like they don't know me or their grandaddy and that hurts like hell. My world fell apart when you left me. Got worse when Moma left and now seems even worse. I love you & miss you soooo baddd & Moma too.

07-24-2010 6:10 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

So I finally wrote u kno who and told her that I would meet her, now its up to her to decide when or where. I had been putting it off sorda hoping I'd change my mind, but I knew I wouldnt. I just dont wanna look bak in a few yrs and wish I would hav. Plus it might b bareable and less nervous/awkward if Jo or Cody goes with me. Yes, I said Cody lol. And Im sorda lookin forward to wat she has to say. With the family the way it is, I figured now was as good a time than any, so here it goes. Anyways, I love you so much and miss you more than anything, tell Granny the same. Love from your baby sister Ashee Cole.

07-10-2010 5:20 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

I miss you so much. I had't thought about how much I missed you in the past couple weeks. I've actually been ok, but right now, im not okay at all. Im glad I got friends to keep my mind of things tho. Even though theres one you or mom like. But he is one of my best friends and I kno he'd be there 4 me if or when I'd need him. Anyways, I was thinkin bout you and I wanted to tell you that I still think of u everyday and everyday whether theres good ones or bad. I love you more than I could ever say and miss you more than I could ever express. Love from your baby sister, Ashee Cole.

06-22-2010 1:16 AM -- By: Erica,  From: Virginia  

I would like to thank you for sharing your story about Amanda. After reading your story and seeing her photos..in a strange way I feel as though I knew her. Such a young beautiful girl, but yet she felt no purpose for life.

I know well the pain that eats at your soul from her being gone. I have several family members and friends who I have lost to suicide. As well as myself, parents and siblings who have attempted suicide. It is a cruel sickness that even the most obvious signs are not visible.

No matter how bad my life may seem my children give me the strength to go on. I do know what they would go through, and I could never do that to them. I just pray that my children will never chose this option when life gets rough.

Amanda may have thought this was the only option she had  to find happiness within herself. I will always keep your family in my prayers. 

06-04-2010 11:59 AM -- By: Terrrie Whiteman,  From: Pa.  

Dear Kathy, My thoughts and prayers are with you for Amanda's Birthday and angelversary.

Know that she is safe and happy in her new home in heaven.

Love, Terrie and Joey

06-03-2010 11:49 PM -- By: Patti O'Dell,  From: New Berlin IL  

Happy Birthday Amanda...Keep watching over you mom, I know she misses you very much. 

06-03-2010 10:47 PM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

Happy 25th Birthday Mammie Rose. I miss you soooo much. Love your baby sister, Ashee Cole.

06-03-2010 12:58 PM -- By: Written by Ashley,  From:  

AMANDA This day 25 years ago, as you all know, Amanda Rose was born. There were 5 of us kids and Amanda was the 4th. When we were all younger, we were sort of indescribable. I wouldn’t call us siblings in the direct meaning of the word, though we fought and fussed like siblings do, we were an extraordinary set of siblings because our love was stronger than a lot of families. Now today it’s Amanda’s 25th birthday and she’s celebrating in Heaven without her Mother, without her siblings, without her best friends. And even though she still has us 4 siblings, along with a nephew and 4 nieces, 2 of which she never got the chance to meet, none of us are the same without her and none of us will ever be the same after just knowing her. I know everyone here has been touched by someone that left too soon and I know they were all was special in their very own way. But this day, in my heart and in my families’ heart, it will always be Amanda Rose’s day. The pain Amanda put us through these past 4 years is nothing compared to the joy, happiness, and love she gave to us for 20 years in her own “Amanda” way. If you didn’t know Amanda like her family or friends did, you would’ve thought she was, to put it in the best terms, mean, for some of the part; whether it was rolling her eyes at us, calling us her unique nicknames she made up, or just plain ignoring us when she didn’t get her way, that’s how she showed us she loved us and how we know to this day that she loved us. But then there was another side of Amanda; a completely unique, stunning, incredible, endearing person. Someone who was worthy of love and life and lived it to the fullest. Everyone she knew and that knew her good learned something from her. There are no words or maybe not enough words to describe Amanda. I almost wonder if the words have even been created yet because I’ve never been able to describe her to the fullest. We shared 20 birthdays with Amanda, some maybe not that many, but even though it wasn’t enough, I am thankful and blessed to be able to have those and to have all the beautiful memories of her and of the life that made me and especially my family complete.

06-03-2010 12:46 PM -- By: Moma,  From:  

My Sweet Amanda Rose

Today is your 25th Birthday. How do I get through it? Twenty five years ago I gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl that was unexpected by all except a select few. I kept my pregancy a secret until Moma guessed it the Friday before you were born on Monday. Everybody didn't think I needed another mouth to feed or for Mom & Dad  to feed. But you were such a blessing.......I sometimes wonder if God punished me for keeping you a secret for nine months. You were healthy even tho I didn't go to the Dr. till the ninth month. You stayed in my belly curled up in a little knot like you knew we were keeping a secert. Even after I had you I could lay down on the couch and put you on my stomach and I looked like I was still pregnant.

Your Granny said she bonded with you at the hospital when they handed you to her and she coughed and you smiled at her! She always said God took you because she worshiped you and that was a sin. That bond was never broken even when you died!

I guess that is why you were always so special to us especially me! I always wanted you from the day I knew I was expecting and couldn't wait for you to get here I knew you were gonna be a girl and had your name picked out from the first!

I wouldn't have traded a day I had with you. You brought so much joy to my life and my life has never been the same and never will be.......There will always be a hole in my heart for you I think of you everyday and wonder what if......where would you be today if you were still here.....I know you are still in my heart and the heart of many you left behind and I know you are in Heaven with your Granny.......I miss and love you both!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY AMANDA ROSE MY SWEET ROSE RED!!!!!!

06-03-2010 11:48 AM -- By: Jessica,  From:  

HAPPY 25th BIRHTDAY IN HEAVEN!!! I know you are partying hard! You always loved to celebrate your birthday or anything that gave you an excuse to party. We had so much fun. I will never forget all the happy times we had. I hope to celebrate with you again someday! Until then I love you and miss you always!!

05-21-2010 6:30 PM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

Im tryin to spend the day thinkin bout the good memories like Rich Girl and the spice girl shoes and everything in between. But theres always a peek of this day 4 years ago that comes thru. I heard the last song I seen u dance to last night and I could c you laughin and dancin with ur drink in ur hand at the legion and it made me smile and cry at the same time. I hope I make it thru the night tonight, it probably wouldnt hurt me to cry tho since I never can let myself. Anyways, I just wanted to make sure you knew I hadn't forgot ya, ever. I love and miss you so much more than words can even express. Tell Granny the same. Love from your baby sister, Ashee Cole.

05-21-2010 2:22 PM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

05-18-2010 1:03 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

Thought about you all day today! Now im jammin to one of the many songs that remind me so much of you! Love you sooooooo much! Love from your baby sister.

04-27-2010 11:36 AM -- By: Bethany,  From: Burg  

Hi, just thinking about you....miss you. Hugs!

04-11-2010 9:37 PM -- By: Rebecca,  From:  

I didn't know you, but I do know your sister Ashley! I am 20 years old and I just lost my papaw 2 weeks ago. He was 103 and one of the greatest men in the world. he tought me a lot about life and I love him with all my might, but sometimes I wonder how he could live for so long and there are people who are young and full of life that are taken from this world to soon. If you see him in heaven tell him I love him and that i miss him.

04-11-2010 9:29 PM -- By: Rebecca,  From:  

04-11-2010 3:11 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

Lifes hard. But you knew that. I feel like no one is hearing the words I say, but they try to tell me what I SHOULD do. I dont know why I wanna do the things the way I want to, but it doesnt help for other people to tell me how I should do them. If I didnt get nothing from Grandaddy, I deff. got his stubborness. I got asked the other day why I let myself get to the bottom instead of getting help now. And I just now realized why that was. Its because this is the only way I kno how to feel. Its the only feeling thats familiar. And I guess to other people thats crazy, but to me, its almost like, at least I feel something. I cannot remember the last time I was completely happy. One would say their wedding day, and even tho I was happy, I wasn't completely. I guess I havent been since before you left, and I cant say 100% that I was then either. Im not gonna do something irrational, and I kno people would say well amanda said that too, but im not. And if I do, oh well. And I hate to sound like I dont care, but I really dont. I care more about other people than myself, and it shouldnt be like that. I am gonna go to a theripist, but in my own time. Im crazy like that, I guess. :) Anyways. I love you and miss you so much, and Granny the same. Be with us. Love from your baby sister Ashee Cole.

04-08-2010 1:42 PM -- By: Moma,  From: KY  

Amanda, sweetheart I just wanted to tell you how much I Miss you & love you. I wish you were still here with us!

04-04-2010 4:58 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

So I lost a friend to death the other day and that sucked. But I lost a best friend tonight b/c I couldnt trust him and vice versa and that REALLY sucked. But I think it worked out the way it did for the best, I just hope that everyone else in the picture sees it the same. I love you and miss you soooo much. Tell Granny the same.

03-28-2010 3:59 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

03-12-2010 11:02 AM -- By: Ash,  From: KY  

Ok so I am on here from our wii, how cool is that? We were playin last night and we started talkin bout how much u woulda liked it. :( Well its hard 2 type on here, so im gonna go. Love and miss you and Granny so much!!!

03-11-2010 2:24 PM -- By: Magee,  From: New York  

So sorry for your loss. I pray she is always watching over you.

03-07-2010 2:20 AM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

I love and miss you soooo much!!!! Tell Granny the same!!!!!

02-18-2010 11:35 PM -- By: Bob,  From: Phila Pa  

Such a beautiful smile. I'm sure you charmed those who had the pleasure of sharing time with you. 'cause you charmed me, and we never met. 'just wish I could hold you tight, and keep you safe.

02-14-2010 4:54 AM -- By: Moma,  From:  

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd get on here and write to you! Still not a day goes by without me thinking of you. Of course I think of your brother and three sisters, but I seem to be failing at it. I am just now getting my meds in and maybe now I will get to feeling better, gosh I hope so. I spend every waking hour worring about your Grandaddy.Glenn and I don't talk much anymore it's all so stressful. I miss your Granny so much but bless her heart she would've been able to handle Daddy by herself, I am so glad I told her yes before she passed away. I just pray she is in peace.......

we have had some snow no telling what you would have been doing in it!  Well its almost 4 on a dreadful Sunday morning, the morning I hate to wake up to and relive the awful phone call and everything started that snowball effect that changed my life and turned my world upset down!!!!!!

02-12-2010 4:01 PM -- By: Megan,  From: Albany  

02-01-2010 2:54 PM -- By: Ash,  From: Ky  

I need you! Im feeling really really overwhelmed with all my school stuff. I just wanna throw out my books and say the hell with it all, but you know me, im too much of a goody two-shoes to do that. Help me get thru it! I love and miss you so much! Love from your baby sister Ashee Cole.

01-28-2010 5:42 PM -- By: Kathryn Miller,  From: Washington st  

I know what it is like to lose a child cause I lost my middle son. He took his own life on Febuary 27th 2008 and my life and his sister and brothers life will never be the sam. The whole in my heart is still not closeing so my thought my prayers and my love all goes to every memeber in you family and as a mother I never love any one any more then I loved the other. I think the fact that I do have 2 living children is why I didn't join my son cause god knows I wanted to but any way u don't want to here my story this is about Amanda rose and they say god takes those so young cause he has a plan. She is safe now in his hands