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06-26-2008 1:30 PM -- By: Brittany, From: Kentucky
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my uncle in Feb of this year to suicide as well. Its been hard but I try to keep my eyes looking up. May God Bless You & Your Family.
06-26-2008 5:02 AM -- By: Ash, From: Lawrenceburg, Ky
Im trying to write a new thing for your memorial. Moms been trying to get me to, like I said before, but I never could. I am now and its soo hard! Im re-living the one day I never want to go back to. It just makes me realize how much I miss you. For the most part, I can ignore that. Somehow Ive taught myself how to ignore the pain that comes from losing you. But here lately its becoming more and more present. Everyday is harder and harder to live through without you here. And all that gets me through it is the picture in my head of the family at my funeral. And the hurt I felt from losing you. I could never put that on them again. And Doug. I would be a mess if it weren't for Doug. You know how funny he is! And aggrivating and sweet and all the above. But hes your brother in law now, haha. I remember the first time I knew I had to marry Doug. It was the time you approved of him. I remember thinking to myself "well, hes got to be a keeper if Amanda likes him" lol. I can't type for shaking...my nerves are a wreck and I dont know why! I wish it wasn't 4:30 in the morning cause I could take something to help me sleep, but its too late now. I am never going to get this house straight! Im so sick and tired of not being able to sleep right. Im getting your hours, up all night, sleep all day. I just got done burning one of the videos I made for you. There all sorda corny, but I like them. I'd rather not be making them, but I am, its my way of dealing with the pain I guess. I've stopped writting the memorial thing to go on here. I stopped at the point to where we got back to grannys after the hospital. What else is there to put? You were gone at that time. Life sorda stopped being life for me at that point. We are sorda stopped caring. All of us, not just our small family, but our extended family too. We stopped caring about ourselves and each other. Or it was all about ourselves and no one else. The aunts and uncles and cousins we use to think so much of, are nothing to me anymore. And I am nothing to them. We're not the big family that use to get together at the drop of a hat anymore. We can't get together and have a big christmas dinner or thanksgiving dinner without someone having something negative to say about it or about another. I guess everyone just has more important things to worry about - money. Thats all anyone around here wants or cares about, even worries about. I aint gonna lie, im guilty of it. Its just too sad. Everyone use to get along so good and now we can't even get together and be civil for granny and grandaddy. You prolly aint surprised. You didnt care for half of them anyways lol. You were the smart one. The pretty one. I was always the one picking on you and beating you up because I was the jealous one, still am. You had everything and it still wasn't good enough for you. And you werent gonna stop til you had everything you wanted. Until that day at least. I hate that day. I haven't cared much for any day since that day. Some are better than others, but none as good as before. I guess its just my bi-polar coming out. lol. My crazyness you always said I had. I got to try to get some sleep its already almost 5am and I know I'll lay there for at least an hour thinking about you and that day that I hate so much. But til next time, I love you and Miss you! My big sister Mammie Rose, Your little sister Ashee Cole.
06-20-2008 3:51 AM -- By: Ashley, From: Lawrenceburg, Ky
I was watching all the videos I made of/for you and I dont know why cause I know there gonna make me upset and cry but I do it anyways. I can't ever express how much I miss you, even though I always try. I wasn't sad on my wedding day like I thought I was gonna be. I almost cried during the memorial, but when I seen a glimpse of you up in the video booth, I thought to myself "why cry, shes here". And I knew you were right beside me when I said 'i do'. Prolly laughing at Doug or picking fun at me or something. I cant tell you how many letters or poems Ive started to write to you, that I couldnt finish. They always start out the same way. I cant tell you all the things youve missed, but I think you know. All we've been missing, is you! But I think you know that too. Mom has created this great memorial for you and has begged me to work on it, but I dont know how. How could I make something that would do you justice? Its almost 4 in the morning and here I am. Not able to sleep, not able to think of anything but you. If you only knew the stuff I have to do this weekend. We finally have the house. A place where we can party all the time, and your not here. Instead, I have to put your pictures up everywhere and its just not the same. But these days, what is? No one is the same. Not even me. Im hurting so bad, and I just dont know how to let it out. I dont know how Im hurting. Is it because your gone? Is it because I let you go? Is it because I cant let go of what happend? Or how I didnt do anything to stop it from happening? I can only imagine how life would be if you had never left. Im listening to our "rich girl" songs. Remember when I finally fount them? Omg, it was the best. I still havent watched our movie. I think of watching it all the time, then I think, "i'll wait for Amanda" and soonly after that thought I realize, I cant. So I never watch it. I dont know how itd feel watching it without you. I remember the night you just couldnt wait to get out of the movies to tell me that Rick was in it. I can see ya now. "OMG THATS RICK!!! HES SO HOT!" And the first person you called was me and I remember saying "ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! WHAT MOVIE, I NEED TO GO SEE IT AND WE NEED TO GET RICH GIRL!" And I think soon after that is when we copied it. So how do you think I should do the house? How about a Gingerbread house for Christmas? I know you liked it. Dont worry, I wont do nothing in bad taste. Im sure you'll let me know, if I do! I need another dream. One of the good ones, like the last one you came to me in. God there is so much to say and not enough time in the world to say it. So many I miss yous, and I love yous, and everything else Ive said more than once already. I hope u liked the memorial at the wedding. I played Elvis for ya. I thought youd like that. Well I guess Im gonna end this for now. I hope to see you tonight when I go to sleep, if I go to sleep. Till tonight, I love you and miss you more than the world can tell!!!!!!! My big sister Mammie Rose, Your little sister Ashee Cole
06-19-2008 5:22 PM -- By: sharon, From: Atlanta
Amanda is lovely -- so pretty and looks like such a fun loving person. She sounds so deeply loved and missed terribly. My deepest sympathies...
Virtual hugs flying your way...
06-19-2008 12:57 PM -- By: Debra, From:
Name: Debra Reagan
Relationship with Amanda: another angel mom
Content: thinking of you
Alan and I attended part of the J.I.M's conference this weekend. We were hoping to get to meet you, but we had to leave early because our daughter-in-law is in the hospital. But we were thinking of Amanda while we were there.
06-16-2008 2:16 PM -- By: Clores^i^ Isabella Carvalho's Mom, From:
Ver sorry for your loss,i lost my child too she was only 21 december 13th 2004 in a car accident.i miss my Isabella so much.Your daughter is very beautiful.My prayers are with you and family.God bless your heart.
Clores^i^ Isabellas Mom
06-06-2008 1:38 PM -- By: Moma, From:
Heaven made me an angel
They sent her from above
Just to be my DAUGHTER
And fill my world with LOVE
All the joy I ever NEEDED
Was captured in Her SMILE
She filled my world with SUNSHINE
If only for Awhile
Although I never thought there would be a time we'd have to Part
When HEAVEN took my ANGEL back
They left a BROKEN HEART!
AMANDA ROSE, I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!
MY WORLD IS EMPTY WITHOUT YOU!
06-03-2008 11:57 AM -- By: Moma, From:
Happy Birthday, Amanda!
If roses grew in Heaven
Lord please pick a bunch for me
Place them in my daughters arms
And tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love and miss her
And when she turns to smile
Place a kiss upon her cheek
And hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy
I do it everyday
But there's a ache in my heart
That will never go away.......
06-03-2008 9:01 AM -- By: Jessica, From: Lawrenceburg, ky
Today would be your 23rd Birthday!!! I know you are having a blast in heaven. I wish you were here so we could celebrate it with you. I miss you so much!!!! I think about you everyday and I know that you are watching over me!!!! I wish you were here to see Kendall, Cheyann and Cole play and grow. They are all our blessings from you and i know. Love you always and Happy Birthday!!!!!!!
06-03-2008 2:57 AM -- By: , From:
Happy Birthday In Heaven Angel.
Hugs Abound, Rose
05-21-2008 9:58 PM -- By: Moma, From: Kentucky
I wake up every morning with you on my mind. Every second, every minute, every hour of the day you are in my thoughts. Sometimes I think I hear you call for me. Oh, how I long to hear your sweet voice or see your beautiful smile. I would give anything to be able to hold you and hug you so tight. I would have thought the pain would have eased by now, but I think its getting worse. My heart aches for you. Your new neice should be here in the next few weeks and about 2 weeks ago Bethany had her little girl. I know if you were here you would pinch her chubby cheeks and Cole and Kendall's too. You would have loved them as if they were your own. Sadly my life goes on. Miss you Amanda and love you always!
05-21-2008 4:24 PM -- By: Rita, From: Michigan
Dear Kathy & Angel Amanda. I know for you today will be a hard one to get thru but please know that Amanda walks beside you in whatever it is you. She has such a warm and loving smile and I am sure she is in Heaven smiling so brightly and lightening up all of Heaven. I pray that God will bless you with peace of heart today and always...Rita (((HUGS)))
05-19-2008 11:56 AM -- By: Sara, From:
I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter. From reading the pages of her memorial site, you can tell that she was surrounded by so many that loved her and done anything for her. I lost my 17 year old daughter to suicide. She too was surrounded by so many that loved her and would have done anything for her. Now we are left with so many unanswered questions, pain and guilt. I look forward to the day I will see her again.
05-06-2008 7:35 PM -- By: Janice Norris, From: Oklahoma
Kathy, I was viewing Amanda's site today and wanted to tell you how sad I am for you. I see that her 2nd Angelversary is soon coming up. She is a beautiful girl and seemed to be so full of life and have everything going for her. It is so hard to understand why our children are taken from us. I also have a daughter born in 3/85 and was killed in a car accident 6/06, so her 2nd Angelversary is also coming very soon. In reading Amanda's bio, I see very many simularities. I also have 5 children. Kristen was my fourth and when she was 3 months old I got pregnant with her sister Sarah. My Kristen was not a girly girl however, she was a tomboy through and through. I guess that came from having 3 older brothers. I love her so much and miss her just like I know you miss your beautiful daughter. I will be praying for you and your family as you remember Amanda on her Angelversary day. (((((Kathy)))))
04-29-2008 12:26 PM -- By: David Meek, From: Ohio
No words can explain how I feel. I am in tears. Way too young to be gone from this earth. I know you are missed deeply.
04-21-2008 5:03 PM -- By: , From:
Sorry it has been so long since I have written you. I have been sick, Ash & Doug got married and I was sick again and I have been busy taking care of your Grandaddy & Granny.
Your Grandaddy is getting worse day by day, he doesn't act like the same ole Daddy\Grandaddy!! Granny had to have a place taken off her arm & it was cancer, they got all of it, thank God & the 15th of May she has to go to a surgery center to take 2 places off her face that are cancer too. She is worried about that, about Daddy, and how all the kids are acting! No one comes around on weekends anymore to visit with them. Some days Daddy even goes back to bed!
I have some signs, I don't know if you have been sending them or if I just want to see them so bad. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much....My heart still aches for you and my eyes long to see your beautiful face. Not a day or night goes by without me thinking of you most of the day & night! I guess it will always be like that.
I guess in the next month I will be moving to Granny & Grandaddy's house to help take care of them, Moma needs help with Daddy.
I hope to write you sooner than last time, just know if I don't write you my heart and my mind are always thinking of you and remembering all of the good times we had, YOU WERE ONE OF A KIND & I WAS SO BLESSED TO HAVE YOU FOR A DAUGHTER!
03-25-2008 2:16 PM -- By: Tamara Ferrin, From: Mesa, Arizona
I didn't know Amanda but she is a beautiful girl. I am so sorry for your loss. My little sister passed away in a horrible car accident on January 25th this year, just two months after her wedding and only 6 months away from her 20th birthday. I just thought I would write you a comment to say I am sorry that you and had to endure this tragic loss and I hope Amanda's memory lives on in everyone's hearts.
02-16-2008 2:11 AM -- By: Ashee Cole, From: KY
Hey Mammie. I know its been awhile since I wrote to ya. Day after Christmas actually. It just seems that if I dont think about you for a long period of time, I wont miss you as much. But thats not true. Everytime I think of you in my mind, I change the subject in a way. So im avoiding it. Mom says I havent accepted the fact that your......gone. I hate saying it the other way. I have accepted it. I know that I will never see you again until I die. She also said that when I change the subject when she talks about you, she thinks Im trying to forget you or that she would be scared I would or something like that. I COULD NEVER FORGET YOU! You were what kept me strong actually. You always had me fighting. Wether it was me fighting you or fighting someone for you with out without your approval, that was what I loved. I loved it when you use to say "I'll get my sister to beat you up and she could too". Cause I would have done anything for you!!! I never thought I would be planning a wedding without you. Everything I see I ask myself "What would Amanda say"? I think you would approve everything but the color. You would have wanted black or red, I think when we were younger you said thats what you wanted was red. I cant believe we use to plan our weddings when we were little together and now im doing it without you. I ask myself everyday "What am I missing in the dang wedding?" Just to realize, your whats missing. Im so stressed between this wedding, missing you so much, and all the crap that goes on at work, that I just want to lock myself in a room and not come out till everything goes away. My heart is so broken and all I want is my family to be together and happy again. None of us can get along anymore. I actually got mad at Aaron and Katrina for thinking about naming their baby after you and I dont know why! Its almost like I dont want no one to do it so I dont have to think of you, I dont know why I got so mad. But thats just how our familys been. Like a time bomb about anything and everything, its ridiculous. Lauren reminds me so much of you though, its scary. I called home one day when I was on my way from work, and I had been thinking about you alot, and Lala answered and I coulda swore for just one second that it was you. I WAS SO HAPPY FOR THAT SECOND! But then when she said hello again, I knew it wasnt you and that same ole familiar heart breaking feeling come back. I met this girl at work, her name is Cynthia, you would have loved her! She is so awesome. I only met her maybe around thanksgiving and I already feel like shes a second mom to me, thats just how she is. But you would have loved her as much as I do. I dont know how I will get through maybe 70 more years of this feeling. And of having to tell everyone I meet about you especially me and dougs future kids. They didnt know you like I did, like WE did. I could tell them about the smart ellic remarks, or the dumb comments. I could tell them about the randy birdwhistell joke or the 'meet me in the front of the cabin' story. I coudl tell them about baby huey #1 and #2 or about how beautiful you had become, but they still really wouldnt know my Mammie Rose or our Mannuh. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING, EVER. YOU WILL BE AT MY WEDDING, EVEN IF I CANT SEE YOU. MY MAID OF HONOR. AND KAROKING "FAMILY TRADITION" WITH ALL OF US. CUZ WE'LL SING IT FOR YOU!!! HERE IS A LYRIC FROM "WHO KNEW" FROM PINK THAT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF YOU AND WHAT I ALWAYS SAY BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP OR WHEN I GO TO THE CEMETARY OR ANYTIME I THINK OF YOU. "I'LL KEEP U LOCKED IN MY HEAD UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, I WONT FORGET U MY FRIEND, WHAT HAPPEND? IF SOMEONE SAID 3 YRS FROM NOW YOUD BE LONG GONE, ID STAND UP AND PUNCH THEM OUT, CUZ THERE ALL WRONG AND THAT LAST KISS I'LL CHERISH UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, AND TIME MAKES IT HARDER, I WISH I COULD REMEMBER, BUT I KEEP UR MEMORY, U VISIT ME IN MY SLEEP, MY DARLING, WHO KNEW?" I MISS YOU MAMMIE ROSE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MORE THAN YOU EVER KNEW OR I EVER BOTHERED TO SHARE. I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS BIG SIS!
02-04-2008 10:30 PM -- By: Moma, From:
Well today is Alissa's birthday and I just got back from meeting with them in Frankfort to eat. I kept on remembering 2 years ago when you all threw her a surprise 30th birthday. What a fun time that was.
It was one of the last "parties" or get togethers we were together, OUR family, whole for one of the last times. Little did we know it at the time, how quick things could change. you never know how precious something is until it is gone and no longer with you. I wish so many things could be changed. Make times last longer, stop and say I love you , everytime, kiss and hug you everytime, every day, every hour! I thought I would be able to watch you get married, have babies, raise those children, become a grandmother, we were cheated out of all those times and things don't seem fair.
I can't make my heart understand, all it knows is the hurt and pain right now and it feels like it will last forever.......
02-02-2008 7:28 AM -- By: Moma, From: Lawrenceburg, KY
It is February again, the second one without you. I always get you some candy and flowers and I will this year too! I am going this weekend to change your flowers at the cemetary from your christmas to valentines. The weater has been teriable that is the reason I am running behind, plus I have been sick & so has your granparents, so that is why I have been putting it off. I am still not thinking right, I guess I never will, you took a part of my heart and soul with you when you left me and I can't get it back ! Like I mentioned earlier Grandaddy & Granny have both been sick and alot of the family, so it has taken us all to pitch in and take care of them. Your Grandaddy got sick last Sunday night but thought he was ok, so off to work he and Aaron went Monday, but before the sale started Aaron called me and said he was throwing up again and needed me to do something, so I went and picked him up at the yards that morning and took him to Dr Purdom, he thought he only had a stomach virus. It took us awhile to get from Lexington to the burg, but I got him home! Then Moma was down with a cold/flu or something, but I hope & pray they are on the road to recovery!
You are gonna have another niece! Aaron & Katrina found out last week they are going to have a baby girl. They are trying to decide on names, it won't be long till she is here. Ashley is busy working and planning her wedding, I wish you were her to help her she is having a hard time without you. Alissa & Jamie & Tristan & Carlee & Chase are doing ok, Tristan is a good basketball player, I wish you could see how much he has improved, I am so proud of him and of all my precious grandchidren just as I am my precious children!! Angie, Junior, Lauren, & Lola are doing good too. Lauren is cheering for Tristan's team & Kat & Ang are coaching the girls cheerleading squad and doing a great job! Angie has had a virus and Lauren is having that awful wart treated with south african beettle juice or something, she has had 2 treatments on it so far.
I just wanted to write you and think of you, it helps me, call it crazy or what, it just helps me survive! I haven't talke dto Jess, Can, or Betany for awhile, I saw Bethany G at Tristan's ballgames a couple of weeks ago.
I hop and pray you know what you mean to us and as long as there is life and breath in my body I will be thinking of you, my beautiful daughter who left me way too soon! I love you and miss you so much!
01-31-2008 9:25 PM -- By: Terri Foster, From: Frankfort, NY
Dear Family of Amanda Rose,
I found your memorial to Amanda as I was adding one for my Mom (who died from suicide this past September)...
What a beautiful girl, and such wonderful memories of her that nobody can ever take from you. I cried like a baby when I saw this website. It's something that will always haunt you no matter what, but you have done a great thing by creating this memorial.
Peace to you and your family,
01-06-2008 2:48 PM -- By: Amanda., From: California.
She seemed like an amazing person. I'm so sorry for what happened.
Good luck to every one..
12-31-2007 1:40 PM -- By: Moma, From: Kentucky
Well today is New Years Eve and the end to another year. The first year that you were gone the whole 12 months and it is soooo HARD! I thought everybody said it got easier, well that isn't happaning...... time keeps on going and going and people keep on going on with their life, don't they know you are gone and nothing will ever be the same??? Don't they know a piece of my heart and soul is gone and it hurts and aches so much! Nothing I can do will ever replace the feeling, the security, the happiness I once had before my world shattered into a zillion pieces. I always thought the hardest thing I would have to go through was losing Moma or Daddy, but that is natural. Children lose their parents Daddy has been telling that to me for years and years , we all have to die sometime, Kat, but parents are not supposed to lose their children and have to bury them and pick out headstones and decorate it for christmas and every season, but that is the only way to show our love now! I pray I will find a new picture of you everytime I look at old pictures or anywhere. I am so hungry to see you, to touch you, to hug you, to hear your voice, ANYTHING! I just want to believe you can feel what I write, what I think, what I say to you! It is the only way I can make it!
I love you and miss you! Happy New Years Eve!
12-30-2007 1:26 PM -- By: Vitaliy, From: Moscow, Russia
I am very sorry of your loss of your beautiful daughter. I hope that you were able to get through the painful holidays without to much more sadness.
12-26-2007 11:11 PM -- By: Ash, From:
Theres nothing to say right now except that I miss you so much, and that pretty much sums it up. If I were to write anything else on here, it would always come back to that. Miss you, Love you! Love from your baby sister.
12-25-2007 9:25 PM -- By: Steffi Aaron's Mom forever, From: Calgary, AB Canada
What a wonderful place to come and visit your precious Amanda. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter... my broken heart weeps for you...
My only son Aaron was also born in 1985 and graduated in 2003...
He was brutally murdered shortly after his graduation...
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Steffi Aaron's Mom forever
12-25-2007 12:59 PM -- By: Moma, From: Kentucky
This is your second Christmas in Heaven and it doesn't feel real yet. Will it ever? Your Grandaddy says you are in a better place, but I am selfish, I want you here with me, with us, your family!!! Last night was the dinner at Grandaddy & Granny's, you know how they are, I know you were there with me. In alittle while we will be leaving for Aaron's house for "our" Christmas. You will be with us, but not in body. The kids are all excited because Santa came last night... I remember when you & Ash would get up at the crack of dawn and check out what Santa left you and then you would go back to bed, so I could see your faces. Those times and memories are all I have now, of past Christmas'. There are not nearly enogh of them! You should have had at least 70 more to celebrate!
well I should close for now, I just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas and how much I love you and miss you as always!!
Merry Christmas in Heaven, my sweet Amanda Rose.......
12-24-2007 11:11 PM -- By: BY Mary Mommy to Misty Angel, From: Sheridan, AR
MERRY CHRISTMAS SWEET AMANDA SAY HELLO TO MY DAUGHTER MISTY ANGEL FOR ME AND GIVE HER A HUG IF YOU WOULD. SEND YOUR SWEET MOM A BIG HUG AND KISS FROM HEAVEN.
12-24-2007 5:53 PM -- By: Jean (POS) moither oif Justin, From:
Merry Christmas in heaven, you are a beautiful angel - I hope that you will meet Justin - the two of you will know how much you are loved and missed.
12-24-2007 7:19 AM -- By: Julie Mom to Jamie (GP), From: ohio
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas honey in the heavens above!
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